Actually Love

This is the last term at Bilkent for me, and for many others. What will happen afterwards? No one knows/cares/wants to think about, take your pick. I’m totally bored with this. I’d prefer the past or the present continuous tense instead, because what proves who we are and who we are not are in fact those. The future is a consequence. John Lennon says: ‘life is composed of the things that happen to us as we are making plans for the future’. He’s right. And this prevents us from enjoying what we’ve got in hand, since we do not focus on those things that happen to us, but to what is going to.
You would want to care less, but you can’t. You would want to stop it, but you can’t. We’re gonna learn what it is to be ordinary, at least one day; since this age has not permitted us to accept that fact, yet. Your crazy blood will never be refreshed, only slowed down in time, although it’s still going to be you. Do you ever see on TV ­or in your life- older couples, who still madly love each other at the age of 79? From their appearance, you ask yourself what is left to be loved in them anyway? The answer is simple: as you cannot see yourself getting older, you cannot see the other person getting older, either. There is just the same old blood for both of you, and that remains.
In the following years, falling in love will not be this easy, nor will it be this difficult to forget. I’m not sure if eyes will ever show us this much, and even more, when they are closed and we dream or imagine. Doing the stupidest things will not cause just a little smile anymore, nor the happiest moments be just untrue. Have you ever looked at something or someone and felt yourself completely vulnerable? If not, don’t worry, you will. It’s gonna remind you that you are not the same as the person you see in the mirror each morning, but much more than that; and that, will fill you up with energy that you cannot hide.
Well, I’ve said I’d prefer not talking about the future, but the paragraphs above shows that I couldn’t. I do have a chance to delete that part, but I will not, because the past was once the future, don’t you think? If you have come this far in reading this article, it is because of the decision you have made in the past, a minute ago. If you plan to focus more on the present after reading it, that is what your ‘future presents’ or will be about.

Efe Peker (POLS/IV)