Volume 16, Number 27
May 4, 2010

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This Week

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Opinions by CŁneyt Yżlmaz

CŁneyt YżlmazDistribution of Talent

I really wonder sometimes what it is God takes into account when distributing talents among human beings, and if it is possible to dodge incompetence through a bribe. Because obviously it is something I'm lacking, and that's why I have ended up on Earth without any musical talents, except for the weird noises I make when I'm asleep - but I'd really appreciate it if you don't call it snoring.

Of course, it is okay to be incapable if you are lucky enough to be friends with other Incapables, or if you are Lady Gaga, that works too. But in other cases where most people around you can at least play Nothing Else Matters on the guitar (Hello Metallica, it is me again!) - and thus your incapability is magnified - then you have a problem. And what Lena Meyer-Landrut did was that exactly; but my recent problems with my talents can be traced back to more than Lena - to Kings of Leon to be exact.

The only thing you should know about Kings of Leon is that it is an American band consisting of three brothers and a cousin. When I discovered this, I was kind of disappointed because I, too, have two brothers and the number of my cousins exactly equals Estonia's population. The money Kings of Leon makes, however, probably exceeds the money my brothers, my cousins and I make, plus Estonia's GDP. And I'm not even mentioning the music that we make, but it is something similar to the noise I make when I'm asleep. I guess this is genetic - but again, please don't call it snoring.

On the other hand, Lena Meyer-Landrut is an 18 year old girl who will be representing Germany in the Eurovision Song Contest 2010. On Eurovision's website it says, "Lena Meyer-Landrut from Hanover is actually right in the middle of preparing for her high school exams. She's doing Biology, Sport and History and she's got a lot of revising to do."

Simply put, she does whatever I couldn't when I was 18. She sings (in fact I'm 21, and I still can't do that), she is good at sports (and you might recall my column about fitness), she is good at history - and I've just noticed that I got my birthday wrong. And worst of all, she does biology while I can't (why do you think my genes suck?).

When someone uses the phrase, "Why do bad things happen to good people all the time?" I accuse him of being the reason why the unemployment rate in Turkey is so high. But when it is me saying this, it seems like bad things really happen to good people, to people like me. And the worst part is that they might come in any shape. A few days ago it was a macroeconomics midterm; four years ago it was pimples; last summer it was Jay Leno; yesterday it was Kings of Leon; and today it is an 18 year old girl, namely Lena Meyer-Landrut. But no, it has never been and will never be Justin Bieber. Because I don't really regard him as a threat, given that he is 16 years old and has chosen Usher as his mentor instead of Lady Gaga. Just wait until puberty hits him, his music will sound like snoring, too. Oh, no! I did it, I called it snoring!

PS: I've just learnt that this will be the last column of this year but this wasn't really how I planned it to be. So if you have anything to say, you got my e-mail address up there. I got stuff to tell you, too, but unfortunately I don't have your e-mail addresses, so you will have to wait until next year. 


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