 A Crash Course in American Slang… Dawg!
I am on a quest. In fact, all exchange students are on a quest. We want to make friends with native Turks! Unfortunately it's turning out to be a little harder than expected. Many Turkish friends hypothesize students feel shy and uncomfortable while using their English, but I have a hard time believing this. Bilkent students speak fabulously!
Instead, I think it has to do with understanding the lingo, particularly that of Americans. There is a rather large group of us and students frequently claim they don't understand a thing we say. Americans constantly, subconsciously throw slang into conversations.
So here, for your entertainment and education, is my crash course introduction to American slang. I wrote a dialogue packed with many of the words you would hear during casual hipster conversations in California. Following each spoken piece is a rough, italicized translation. Meet Chad and Jake, two fictional, hedonistic, wannabe-gangster fraternity boys who just hit the Bilkent scene:
Chad: 'Sup homie! What's up, friend!
Jake: Nothin' much, punk. What's good?
Nothing much, buddy. What's good in your life?
Chad: I'm so stoked about being at Bilkent. The girls here are fly. Tag hags, but damn! Def haven't seen any butter-faced, haggard chicks around.
I'm so excited about being at Bilkent. The girls here are super attractive. They're obsessed with name-brand clothing, but wow! I definitely haven't seen any ugly girls.
Jake: Hah! Dude, you've been uppin' your swagga, haven't you.
Hah! Friend, you've been playing up your style and personality, haven't you.
Chad: Obvi! I've busted out the fauxhawk and nut huggers. Check out that babe; she's diggin' it. She's totally givin' me the eye. Let me get there!
Obviously! I'm now flaunting a fauxhawk (a softer version of the Mohawk hairstyle) and tight pants. Look at that girl; she's into me. She's giving me the "come-hither" look. Please Lord, let me be with her!
Jake: Fail, she was eying the guy behind you. There's no way you'll get her digits. You fail at life; she was looking at the boy behind you. There's no way you'll ever get her number.
Chad: 'Nuff of the smack talk! Watchu up to tomorrow?
Stop making fun of me. What are you up to tomorrow?
Jake: I'm just looking to rage. I haven't been hammered in way too long and it's gonna be Thirsty Thursday!
I just want to party. I haven't been drunk in a very long time and it is going to be Thirsty Thursday (a nickname which has made Thursdays a weekly drinking holiday).
Chad: I got your back. We might hit a club, maybe do a little pregame/postgame. Beer goggles are dubious, but if you're down, I'm down for a black out mish.
I've got you covered. We might go to a club, maybe do a little preparty/postparty. I'm worried about propositioning unattractive people while under the influence since my judgment will be impaired, but if you're willing, I'm prepared to drink so much I won't remember what happens the next morning.
Jake: Good looking out! Who are you plannin' on rollin' with?
I'm glad you've got a plan. Who will you be going out with?
Chad: The usual crew. They're legit guys who won't cock block or get the popo called on us.
The usual group of friends. They're legitimate boys who won't try to steal a girl from under your nose or create trouble and get the police called on us.
Jake: Sick. Let's nose-goes a DD when we see them so we don't have to deal with walk of shames. And cock block? What, are you lookin' for some expiration dating to pass the time?
Great. Let's get everyone together and play nose-goes (someone shouts "nose goes!" and whoever is the last person to touch their nose loses) to choose a designated driver so we don't have to deal with embarrassing walks home the next morning. And why are you worried about cock blocks? Are you looking for a short term relationship to pass the time?
Chad: I wouldn't mind a little flirtationship to pass the time. Not looking for a boo or baby mama!
I wouldn't mind a relationship which never goes past the flirting stage to pass the time. I'm not looking for a girlfriend ("boo" can also refer to a boyfriend) or the mother of my children!
Jake: Ah, gotcha. Hey well I'm about to throw down some Williams and clown on some grub. Wanna come with?
Ah, got it. Hey well, I'm about to throw down some bills and scarf down a meal. Would you like to join?
Chad: Naw man, I'm broke as a joke and that place is spendy. Catch you on the flip side. Holla at me if you wanna hang. I'll just be chillin' with the fambam.
No thanks, I have no money and where you're going is expensive. See you later. Get in touch with me if you want to get together. I'll be relaxing with my family.
Jake: F'sho, fool. Stay fresh.
For sure, friend. Stay quality.
There you have it. Now, dear readers, armed with your new vocabulary, attack us foreigners! We are very nice people, promise. And for more fun slang, visit www.urbandictionary.com. By Okþan Alpdemir (IR/III)
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