I really hate these guys. I mean the one who is next to me, and the one who is next to the one next me. They just fill up space, and I have to shorten my Intentional Garbage just because of them. At least I do the garbage intentionally, but these losers cannot help writing like that.
Take Sibel for instance. She always writes about how she's alone, single, and happy to spend Valentines Day by herself, without a boyfriend. She likes pretending to be a feminist and let me tell you something. I could begin flirting with her any time I like, and she would change her mind, but I don't do that. Do you think I should go for it? Take this girl who writes 500 words every week and asks Hande our editor- if she could write even longer; can you even dream about how much she would talk in a relationship?
I guarantee that your 'eyes' would 'pop'. Atilla, on the other hand tells you about "What's hot and what's not at the movies?" Couldn't you find a shorter title, man? I heard many people saying that it would take less time to go and watch the movie itself, than reading the title of your column. The other day we three met in the Bilkent News office, and he told us about how difficult it is to find something to write. Can you believe he said that? He just has to pick a movie, watch it, and write about it, where as Sibel and I have to narrow all the topics in the world to one! This shouldn't mean I like Sibel, though, because she has to narrow down feminist stuff only. I have the whole weight of the paper on my shoulders. If a feminist movie begins showing in theaters, I'm sure Sibel and Atilla would write the same thing that week!
Of course, Sibel would tell you that she's not a feminist. The reason for that is she doesn't want to miss the chance of my proposal! I know she would deny that as well, but I have my own secrets that I couldn't share, because of my journalistic ethics :) Get out of here guys, this page should be mine, I'm telling you.

Efe Peker (POLS/IV)