 -THE END-
It was fun to have my "lasts" at Bilkent. Especially, having the last lecture
and last exams! But it is really tough too, to begin to write my last column. I don't know
when I will be a columnist again, which is the biggest ambition of my life. I think I need
to wait for a long time to be a columnist in a national magazine, so this last column I
write with a little sorrow as I am trying to enjoy and share with you the last things I
have done here.
I must have forgotten that I have two exams for tomorrow. I woke up early in the morning,
and watched a Charlie Chaplin movie, City Lights. It is not by chance as I am trying to
catch clues and find sweet highs from life. Why did I watch that movie; what pushed me to
watch it? My whole life has passed in big cities: 18 years in Istanbul, 5 years in Ankara,
and hopefully, the next 2 years in Los Angeles. The next stop is the scariest one, being
in a totally different continent, overseas, no one familiar; really a new beginning.
Watching that movie gave me hope that I will meet a person like Charlie Chaplin who is
funny and helpful (what a perfect friend he would be). Friendship is joyful when we share
the worst and best days with the tears and the laughter. I hope I experience a happy
ending like in that black and white, silent movie…
I have watched the news; the bombs have exploded in Ulus. I was outside, my family called
me in a panic with shaking voices asking whether I am OK or not. Thankfully, I was nowhere
close to that area. But the terror is everywhere, İstanbul, Ankara, London or New York;
there is no guarantee that after a terrorist attack in the city you live, people call you
with panic wondering whether you can answer the phone. That is the truth we face, human
beings bring their own end to each other. My goodbye in the big city was not as shiny as
Charlie Chaplin's movie…but no way, I do not want to remember Ankara with a terrorist
attack as my last days.
The last book I read here is about Turkey. My limited understanding of politics and
economics has increased; I hate the things that I don't understand, and this has been the
case since the day I was born. But a book has changed this concept. In Herşey Dahil
Türkiye (in English it is something like, Turkey, Including Everything), the author gives
information about the past in Turkey, with his funny memories in a genius way. I should
have written a separate column about that book, but we have no time. However, before
graduating, I am happy that I have enough knowledge about the economy in the 1970s and 80s
and political issues, which are sensitive topics to talk about, even now. The author Ali
Sefünç has inspired me to write about a serious thing in a funny and genius way in the
future.
The song I am listening to as I write this column is, "Life Is a Roller Coaster"
from Ronan Keating. We already know that, but I think for a second, is there anyone who is
full and is continuously happy and always has good things in life and manages to go always
up on the roller coaster? To do so would be uninteresting, like food without salt. A
roller coaster should go down sometimes, to keep the balance, to make us realize we are
living. These trips that go "down" sometimes make you unintentionally kind to
some people, or you are too busy to go up, while some people's rides are cancelled or
ended altogether. My grand daddy's trip ended two days ago; I remember the last time I saw
him and think of how he will remember me, how I treated him, how he treated me, did I say
nice things or did I not pay attention to what he said.
I cannot end my last column. I guess I will miss writing here, but lastly I want to wish
you all fun in your last days of university, enjoy each moment and live them like a
ceremony, because all these moments - you will never get them back.
I am sure you all have different dreams that are ready to come true after a few weeks. But
being here was already a dream itself. The university was a bridge but it is a life in
itself. Whether you had fun or hated it here, there will be a life you left here, a big
part of your past. The people you like, and the people you hate, all became part of you
and what you became in four years will remain with you. I hope all of you will be at
worthy places in the future; I hope you see me in a newspaper or magazine column with a
smiling face, talking about nice things and making fun of life!
Thanks to everyone, who made my words live by reading them, thanks to Hande Seçkin Onat,
the newspaper editorial board, my friends, who have been guests for a short time in my
life, my instructors, my roommates, and many other things and people who shone on my life
here at Bilkent.
Farewell!
Farewell…
Gülay Acar (COMD/IV)
howtoreachgulay@yahoo.com
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