BY BERİRE GÜNDÜZ CS/III)
berire.gunduz@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
It’s Time to…
I don’t know if you’ve realized it, but winter is past. That means you can’t use bad weather as an excuse to stay at home and do nothing. Now you are expected, even more than usual, to be active and look like a happy person because of the joyful atmosphere of spring. To help you choose what to do, I’ve made a list of activities you may not have been involved in recently. Choose one or two and say something like “I like spring” or “Life is beautiful” while moving around and trying to hide your bored face.
- Talk to yourself
“How have you been doing lately? Is everything OK?” These are questions you might struggle to give honest answers to. The best source for getting answers to these kinds of questions is actually you. Just say hi to yourself and try to figure out what you’re really thinking. To convince your inner self to talk to you, eat things you really like or threaten yourself with things you hate. If no one gives you an answer, don’t give up yet. Maybe your inner self is lost or gone, so ask your imaginary friends where you could be. If your investigation still doesn’t get any results, just give up on yourself and find another you.
- Punch someone in the face
When was the last time you punched someone in the face? If it was a long time ago, now is the time for you to once again find someone to punch in the face (which probably won’t be too hard); next, you need to create the ideal environment and conditions for punching that person in the face. With the help of this activity you’ll handle spring depression more easily and will be relieved of the anger that you’ve been repressing for a long time. Just be sure that your punch is deserved and well-delivered.
- Do your assignments
You’re lying there peacefully and enjoying spring in your own way, when suddenly a scary thought comes to your mind: “Do I have an assignment to do?” The answer is “YES,” especially if you’re a student at Bilkent University—because Bilkent is one of those unique universities that are capable of creating many nonsense assignments for their students just to make sure they don’t enjoy their lives. So it’s always time for you to do your assignments. They’re like parasite aliens; even when you think you’ve gotten rid of all of them, there will be one that you’ve overlooked. That one assignment will grow silently in your brain until one day it will get control of you, and eventually dominate the earth.
- Fall down
If you’ve completed puberty with a functional body, then some time must have passed since you last fell down miserably in public. There’s always something enjoyable about falling down, like the faces of the people near you; that weird silence caused by people not knowing whether to laugh or help you; the pain; etc. To step up the game, you can fall down using visual effects like those in Michael Bay’s movies.
- Get up
OK! You’ve stayed down long enough. Now it’s time to get up and pull yourself together. Just realize time is passing and stop postponing things you have to do. Get up and fight for your dreams. Take a vacation or embark on an adventure. Learn a new language or learn how to play an instrument. Then lie down again because you’re tired from all this activity. Lying down is the best activity in the world. So, maybe you shouldn’t get up in the first place?
- Say good-bye
It’s time for me to say good-bye to Bilkent News. I had a good time writing my column, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Before I go, I want to say “thank you” to my aunt, who wanted to be
thanked by the first famous person in our family, which in this case is me of course, and I want to apologize to my sister for forgetting to wish her happy birthday. I hope all of you have good luck and, most importantly, stay mentally stable. Don’t forget (this is the part where I say something really cool and mysterious as my last words), the night begins to shine, eventually…
(Imagine a charismatic stare and my cape dancing in the wind…)
Note: You can still send me e-mails. I mean we can talk if you want to, we can leave your friends behind, ’cause your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well, they’re no friends of mine.