BY AYESHA BİLAL (PSYC/III)
ayesha@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
Now that the semester is coming to a close, I realize once again how fast time carries you with it. It doesn’t stop to let you catch a break; that, along with everything else you do, comes at the expense of time. This makes it one of the most valuable possessions we have. I say “possession” because, before it slips out of our hands (as it steadily and consistently does), we have ownership of it and the ability to use it as we will. And so we try to use it in the best possible way before it slips away completely. But humans being humans, we need constant reminders not to let it go to waste—reminders not to let precious seconds be spent on things that aren’t important and that shouldn’t keep us from taking proper advantage of the time we have.
I came up with a list in my head of a few negative things I observe quite commonly in people, which made me rethink the many times I may have displayed similar behaviors or emotions, and made me realize how much of a misuse of my time and energy such behaviors were. And I figured that making a mental list of them might help me avoid them in the future, and also might help me give myself a mental reminder every time I realize I’m displaying negative behaviors, whether toward others or myself, of how futile and wasteful of my time this is. Lo and behold, it has worked to quite a significant extent, additionally giving me a very clear awareness of my own emotions and thought processes—and with the help of some determination to be in charge of my own self, I’ve been able to achieve a degree of control over my actions, thoughts and emotions. I am no expert, of course, and therefore I do not claim that my method is a foolproof one for changing one’s undesirable ways; I am a firm believer in the idea that every person is different and that methods to change oneself do not work the same for everybody. However, I also believe that everyone has a significant degree of control, at least over their own minds, and with consistent resolve can achieve any change in the self that they really desire. What I do intend to talk about are the various ways I’ve seen people make poor use of their time that may hit home for you.
I will start with anger, and its sister emotions, which in my mind take first place on the list of things that are rarely warranted, and never mindlessly so. By this I mean that even in those rare situations where anger may be justified, it requires even more than the normal amount of mental discipline to ensure an appropriately expressed intensity and manifestation of the emotion. The same goes for hatred, jealousy and spite. I am myself not generally prone to those emotions, and in fact, there are only a handful of circumstances where I would find myself in such a state, which gives a sense of my complete distaste for such feelings. However, my distaste is not without cause, as I struggle to find any reason or rationality in most cases where anger, or any other hostile emotion for that matter, is shown outwardly in everyday situations. My personal belief is that almost every negatively arousing or problematic situation can be dealt with much more quickly and effectively, and with much less emotional turmoil, by means of a rational and composed exchange of words rather than a resort to less refined mannerisms. For oneself, at least, anger is the most destructive emotional state; one that halts clear thought processes and returns us to a primitive state of mindlessness. I always maintain that nothing good comes of anger or the other aforementioned emotions, all of which one should generally avoid in order to lead a peaceful and easygoing life, for one’s own sake as well as that of others.
In terms of behaviors, the list is endless. As humans, we are prone to performing many actions that are dissonant with our ideals; that is, we do not intend to do these things, but our imperfect human tendencies get the better of us. Certainly, the list is enormous, and I may not yet even be aware of many of these types of behaviors given my short experience of life so far, so I will not and cannot mention all of them. Procrastination, laziness, spending excessive money on fruitless things, investing unreasonable amounts of time in frivolous activities that don’t benefit one in any way—all of these are habits that many of us feel the need to overcome. The one such habit I will discuss in a bit more detail is something that I have lately begun observing to an increasing degree in people, and it brings me back to my point that time is not stagnant and does not wait for us. The tendency of people to complain is what I personally find most irritating, especially when it comes to complaining about the lack of activities or excitement in life. Boredom is, for me, akin to a curse and must be eradicated, but it takes individual effort to do so. Time will not wait for anyone, and in making the best use of it, instead of wasting it and one’s energy in lamenting the monotony of life, one can do a wide array of activities or tasks to engross the brain and the mind and engage oneself in the world.
As the semester ends, a realization of the free time we are given comes to me. I really hope to employ myself and my mind in ways that I will feel content with by the time classes start again and we are occupied once more; and I am optimistic that my readers will do the same.