Flightplan
BY CÜNEYT YILMAZ (ECON/III)
cuneyt_y@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
If you are not a huge fan of flashbacks and flashforwards (which adds up to the TV program LOST), writing a column that will be published one week later might be a pain in the neck from time to time, especially when you know that something important will happen next week. Too vague? See, by the time you read these words, I'll be abroad soaking up all of the culture Portugal has while you guys seek sanctuary in little escapes from Turkish culture, namely Starbucks. All joking aside, God knows what will happen when I'm there. The only thing I can do at the moment is to guess and make a column out of it. And surprise! Following is one of the many possible scenarios that might happen, one that I prepare myself for. I am curious as to whether my expectations coincide with the reality or not and am sure you are chomping at the bit too, but we will have to wait. In the meantime, forgive any upcoming inaccuracies, por favor.
10:00 a.m. - I should update my Facebook status. What to say; what to say?
10:01 - Haha! Joking. Do you think I haven't thought of it already? Well, then that's because you don't really know me. My new Facebook status: "Let's Get Out of This Country" (Dude, he is referring to that Camera Obscura song, so cool!)
10:05 - God knows how many people have liked my status already. Yays!
10:15 - OMG! There it is. We are taking off. You will be millions of kilometers up just for, what? Five hours? Wow, that's too much. But hey, this isn't your first time. In fact, this is your first time. Damn! I wish I had hugged my mother once more. Wait! Are you crying? No, I'm not crying. Yes, you are.
10:45 - Will you look at these clouds through the window? They look amazing. But, hey! Don't look too amazed. Remember, this isn't your first time and you are really, really cool.
10:50 - I know you are so desperate to take a picture, but don't. "I know, Mum would love it, but Cüneyt, will you please stop it," I beg myself.
11:00 - They were right; flight attendants are hot.
11:15 - Oh, wait! She is coming over here. I have been eyeballing her for too long.
11:16 - "Would you like anything for drink?" she asks, so kindly as one would expect. "No, thank you," I say, though. Apparently, she hasn't seen Inception. I have brought my own beverage and am determined to keep my dreams to myself in the near future.
11:17 - I'm sure she was too busy being gorgeous when the movie was released. I get that.
11:25 - I feel something in my stomach. Is it the culture shock? Already?
11:30 - Come on, you know it isn't the culture shock. You don't even know what that means. It is just the things my mother made me eat in the morning.
11:58 - This plane is starting to get boring. I need someone to talk to. What about the guy next to me?
11:59 - Hmm. He looks fine. If only he wasn't reading Twilight.
12:05 - But no one is perfect, right?
12:25 - Does he look like Edward a little bit? Oh, come on. Just talk to him.
12:30 - "I have waited for the visa application too long. The last time I waited like that, I was born. So Portugal better be worth it." I say and start waiting for his answer. Even a Sheldon-like laugh would work. I've been dying to tell that joke to someone. He slowly closes the book, looks at me and says "Yeah, me too." "And you know what the worst part was: the interview. It is like your first date with a girl. Except that you are dating with someone forty years older than you and she acts like the most popular girl in the school." I answer, as if he did anything to further the conversation.
13:00 - OK, it was nice to chat with him. At least until the moment he suggested that I read the book, Secret. But he is a good listener, that's for sure.
13:10 - Oops; we are about to land. Time to rehearse: Por favor (please), O que é isso (What is this?), O que vocé queria? (What do you want?), Amo-te (I love you - I become a hopeless romantic from time to time.) Gosh, this is difficult. Help! Socorro!
So if you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry. That is because I will be having a whole lot of fun. But if you hear from me soon, don't pity me. That will be because it really is a lot fun to write.
Tchau, comrades!