Premature Nostalgia
BY SABA SHAHID (ECON/IV)
Can one feel nostalgic for something that's not in the past yet? Can you really start missing something that is still with you? Well, believe it or not, my nostalgia for Turkey has begun. Life, once again, has brought me to a phase where another chapter ends and a new one begins, but for some reason this recent chapter of my life entitled "Ankara" has gone by a bit too fast. Two and a half years in this city appear to have, somehow, fast-forwarded themselves, and here I am exactly 33 days away from graduation (Inshallah ;).)
When I first landed in Turkey, I unexpectedly fell in love with it. For one thing, it's probably the only country where I have felt warmly welcomed with my green passport labeled "Pakistan," and two, people here know the "Cive Cive Pakistan" song by heart! The fact that Turkey won me over within a few hours is, therefore, not surprising. Jokes apart though, my love for the country deepened as time went on. Whether it was the call of the simitçi, the azaan coming from the scattered domes and minarets -- which reminded me so much of Pakistan -- or the small çay stalls that have come to symbolize Turkey for me, this place never felt new, but always like I'd known it my whole life.
Those who describe the country as the bridge between East and West are not wrong; indeed Turkey does have the best of both worlds. The infusion of a rich cultural heritage, delivered from the mightiest of empires into a modern dynamic nation, is admirable. And this is what I like about Turkey the most: it has the perfect appeal for any kind of traveler. One could easily get lost in the mysticism of Konya, the antiquity of Istanbul, the greenery of Ankara or the old-world charm of Şanlıurfa, and find it hard to return to normal life. Added to this is the mouthwatering taste of Turkish cuisine and, unforgettably, the selfless hospitality common to friends and strangers alike.
This bittersweet feeling, in which the sense of having been so lucky as to have become part of a family that welcomed me with such warmth is mixed with the thought of having to leave all this, is therefore making it really hard for me to say goodbye. What adds confusion to my state of mind right now is the excitement of something longed for approaching but having to move on knowing that I'm leaving a part of me behind. I'm sure many of you have felt this way at some time in your lives and can relate to me. Others are probably thinking how stupid I am for wanting to delay the end of a long 16 years of school. Don't get me wrong, graduation is more than welcome, but the idea of entering the "big bad world" scares me, and I'm in no rush to take on the "real" responsibilities in life. Luckily though, I've found a way to postpone this and joined the group of lunatics who've bravely accepted the challenge of a master's degree. In fact, I'd like to take this opportunity to send a message to all my older friends who have told me that no matter how badly you want to murder the person who invented school, life as a student is the best: "I am so sorry I ever thought you were out of your minds, I now completely agree with you." I also want to tell all of you who do have some more time before you move on to the "big bad world" I'm insisting on scaring you about, to cherish your time here in the company of people you enjoy being around. Take advantage of the fact that you don't have to come up with excuses to give to your boss, because trust me, "my dog ate my homework" won't work there…
So with this sentimental piece, I end my journey with Bilkent News. However, just before I reach the very end of my column, I would like to thank the entire Bilkent News team -- it was a pleasure writing with and for all of you. Hopefully sharing my experiences of the different cities I have traveled to has somewhat touched the inner traveler in you and impelled you to venture out into a world waiting to be discovered!
I also dedicate this article to all my Turkish friends out there, along with all the lovely people I have met here in Turkey and at Bilkent, and finally to the graduating class of 2012!!!! We've (almost) made it!!! ;)
And with this I bid farewell to the newspaper, looking forward to reading the work of some new Bilkent columnists :)
Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires. ~Charles Caleb Colton