BY SERA ULUSOY (MAN/IV) sera.ulusoy@ug.bilkent.edu.tr

Lately, I’ve been watching this TV series called “Chasing Life.” The story revolves around a very young woman, mid-20s, who is working toward becoming an accomplished journalist, and who happens to learn very coincidentally that she has cancer—leukemia, to be more specific. As depressing as this sounds, it is depicted in such a way that there is no agitation but only a very natural portrayal of what is likely to happen in real life to someone who does have this disease.

The reality shows I come across—and admittedly watch from time to time—the TV commercials, song lyrics, and many people, especially young ones, with whom I talk seem to have certain things in common: either unhappiness and dissatisfaction that appear to be leading toward depression, or constant complaints about minor problems. This is not to say that I haven’t been one of those who’ve felt this sense of dissatisfaction, nor it is to say that I don’t ever experience it, because let’s face it—we all undergo these things.

But lately I’ve noticed something. Of course we’re allowed to feel sad from time to time, and it’s absolutely normal to complain about what seems to be the tiniest problem on earth, like the guy at Starbucks got your order wrong, or you gained two pounds during the holidays and feel like you can no longer fit into your jeans—which is actually untrue but still depresses you. It’s okay, we all complain. However, when I see people who have their health, and who are financially stable and have quite a lot of things in life to be happy about constantly complaining about the tiniest things—and I don’t mean from time to time, I mean literally 50 times a day, 365 days a year—I feel quite upset and angry.

There are so many things that people go through every day, so many soul-wrenching difficulties they experience, whether it is cancer-like diseases that are potentially fatal, or motor neuron diseases, or the loss of a loved one, or having  a child with a chromosomal disorder that will affect him for the rest of his life. And when you see these people, or at any rate hear about them, you understand how trivial the things you complain about are. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pout when you experience something that is unnerving. What I am saying is that so long as you have your health and your loved ones around you, it should be easier to be happy about yourself and your life—whether or not it is the one you dreamt of having, and whether or not it is perfect.

I actually wanted to talk about this because of the increasing rates of depression and suicide; however, because I know how sensitive an issue this is, I’ll only mention some of the possible reasons behind it. Is it because each and every one of these people has led such a tragic life that they start contemplating a way to put end to it? Or is it because of the environment and the things that we are exposed to? It is in fact the latter—the impact of the era, the amount of exposure to certain things, and how much is expected of us as individuals.

I recall an article I read in an issue of Psychology Today this past spring. The article focused on the increasing rates of suicide and depression—depression that does not necessarily end in attempted suicide but still interferes with the way those who suffer from it live their lives—among Ivy League students, who on the surface lead happy and healthy lives but in fact suffer from psychological issues such as depression itself or the manifestations of delayed or hidden depression, including anorexia nervosa and even OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder. (This is not to say that every person with OCD is depressed, but I’ve seen it mentioned in several places that depression can be a cause of multiple disorders, including OCD.)

So why are these people unhappy? Articles I’ve read  list some reasons, which seem obvious when you think about them, but which we often neglect to consider. In the case of the Ivy League students, one of them was the pressure they get from their parents, followed by the pressure they get from their peers once they enter this highly competitive environment. Another reason, which can be listed among the reasons why people in general are more depressed in the present day than they were in previous eras, is feeling a lack of fulfillment in life.

This is rather interesting, because according to what I have read, the majority of those who suffer from depression and attempt suicide can claim some impressive accomplishments—the Ivy League students seem to have achieved almost everything they claimed they wanted to as teenagers. Enter the influence of the parents, the environment, peers, teachers, the acquaintance who has failed to achieve certain things s/he wanted to so s/he takes it out on the kid, or the neighbor who gossips too much about the other kids in the neighborhood. These individuals are expected to achieve so many different things by so many different people that they no longer know what they really want, hence the feeling of a lack of satisfaction. When it’s not about grades, it’s about the car you drive, the clothes you wear or the amount of money you spend on a daily basis.

I would never criticize anyone for feeling depressed, and I certainly do not judge anyone for his/her actions. Nobody would want to be depressed and nobody would want to feel empty. Though some people are somehow biologically inclined to suffer from depression at certain stages of their lives, I believe nobody would really want to feel upset all the time. However, there are certain things that they can do as individuals and we can do as “environmental factors” to make them feel better about what they have in life.

The reason I mentioned “Chasing Life” was to remind you what some people are going through. I know that we all sometimes take happiness and what we have for granted—at least I know I do. But why not try to seek the beauty in life, rather than the unpleasant things? Although life can take its toll on you at certain times, why make it even more unpleasant by seeking reasons to be unhappy?