BY MELEK CANSU PETEK (ELIT/III)
petek@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
If you happen to run into me on campus these days, or see me on a shuttle bus with a mesmerized expression on my face, do not be afraid. Just follow my eyes, and you’ll probably see a beautiful tree adorned with the colors of fall, or a rainbow arching to its completion and making my heart flutter. In case these words weren’t clear, or they’re too fluffy for your taste, let me be very direct: I love fall.
As a person who rarely feels comfortable anywhere outside her room, I usually either make an effort to be completely invisible, or try to create a bit of coziness, wherever I may be, to make my surroundings homier. Perhaps that’s why I love fall, because it’s as cozy as a season can be. The weather is chilly enough to wear comforting sweaters and scarves, but not so cold it freezes my feet. Whenever it rains, it washes the dust off the trees and makes those wonderful colors shine brighter. Even people look somewhat calmer, as if they are ready to be at home, and those looks make our hearts kindred.
I’ve heard people complaining that it’s more difficult to get out of bed on rainy days, and even saying that rain depresses them. I can absolutely understand the first part, as I’m writing these words in my bed, under the blanket, but for me, it’s not something to complain about. Let me tell you why. I believe that feeling uncomfortable, even depressed, on rainy days is a result of our goal-oriented modern lives. This idea might sound a little far-fetched, but hear me out first. Many of us, including myself, live our lives in the form of a to-do list, running around to get things done, and basing our success and self-esteem on the productivity of our days. It is, indeed, good to be productive, but I have come to realize that we are pretty bad at sitting down and relaxing. Having a slow-paced life has become almost synonymous with being a failure. It’s getting harder to spare a day for rest; even weekends are filled with chores and duties. Does that sound at all familiar?
Then the rain starts. It messes up “our system” and makes it harder for us to get back to our business, whatever that might be. It reminds us that we’re not in control, and we don’t like hearing that. That desire to stay in bed, and also feeling bad or depressed about it, is the very tension that shows us we are too afraid to look for comfort and embrace the joy of being at home. Nevertheless, that desire is there, and the way to your own home might be blocked by that one errand you “have to” run—but perhaps you don’t really have to.
Next time you feel obligated to complete a task, please ask yourself: Is it an absolute necessity? Are you stressing yourself out for no reason? It might be terrifying to ask these questions, but that alone shows how deep the penetration of our self-imposed obligations is. It’s so hard to refuse to be busy, due to the way we’ve constructed our “modern” world; it’s a struggle I constantly go through. Yet, each time I choose to cancel a not-so-important errand to spend one more hour with a friend, or simply sit down with a cup of tea to read a book I wasn’t assigned to read, peace prevails in my life. I recently decided that one day a week, I wouldn’t bother myself with to-do lists, and believe me, it took a lot of willpower and conscious effort to stay away from my e-mail and other duties. It was horrifying to realize how upset I got when I couldn’t complete my tasks, but that was a burden I’d been carrying around for years. Being a slave to busyness, defining ourselves by the productivity of our days and feeling depressed when things don’t go our way have been a part of our lives for way too long. It’s time to reclaim our freedom.
So, dear friends, think about it one more time, and you’ll see that this season isn’t actually depressing; it only messes up the so-called comfort of our busy lives. If you really look, you’ll see how heartwarming it is, how rain beautifies the world. Yes, it may be a dark season with gray clouds and less sunshine, but isn’t that the story of our lives? I’ve never seen anyone who doesn’t or didn’t experience darker days, but each drop of rain has the power to wash our souls clean, revealing our heartachingly beautiful colors. Our lives have ups and downs, for sure, but in the end, it all comes back to your perspective. Do you choose to look at the muddy roads and puddles after each rain, or the gorgeous colors of the leaves and rainbows? It’s all up to you.