BY BERİRE GÜNDÜZ CS/III)
berire.gunduz@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
It’s not an easy job to be a student, especially if you’re at Bilkent. There are tons of assignments, tons of exams and many other tasks that require you to become superhuman. So if you meet a genie one day, and he asks you to choose a super power that will be available to you only at Bilkent, you’ll have a hard time selecting just one. Don’t worry; this list of super powers will help you choose a great one, so that you’ll save time making your choice and can spend that time on your schoolwork.
1. Super speed
After class is finished, many students imagine going home early to get some rest. But they have only 10 minutes to catch the bus, and if they miss it, they have to wait for another hour. If their teacher decides to add on an extra 5 minutes at the end of class, they now have just 5 minutes left. Running from SA Building to the bus stop with all your books and other stuff requires you to be the fastest man alive, after the Flash. So to get more rest, you could choose super speed.
2. Outstanding skills as a commentator
You have an assignment or exam that asks you to write a 1,000-word essay on how the colorlessness of water affects humans. Probably you won’t have any idea what to write even after you read the hundreds of scientific essays about water, colors, etc. that are assigned by your teacher. So you need to have a super power enabling you to interpret any topic in a logical way and start writing 1,000 words instead of running out of ideas as soon as you see your exam question.
3. A Strong stomach
Student life in general causes you to eat and drink many kinds of weird stuff and even weirder combinations of food. You can find yourself having a hamburger with milk for breakfast. For dinner, you might eat cereal without milk if you run out of milk. In addition, you have to consume coffee instead of water to stay awake during finals week. So you need a strong stomach that can adapt to hunger or any kind of food to keep you alive.
4. A strong will
Everyone has this really boring class where it’s impossible to force yourself to even stay in the room. The sleep-inducing voice of the teacher, the soul-destroying content of the class, etc., make you want to jump out of the window. Because attendance is mandatory, you need to have a very strong will that will keep you in class and save you from getting an FZ grade.
5. Spider senses
Spider senses help you detect danger before it’s too late. Pop quizzes are one kind of danger, especially if you’re not in class and don’t have a friend there to warn you that there is going to be a quiz. Imagine that your teacher suddenly decides to give a quiz and your spider senses start tingling. You run to class and take the quiz, but you get a zero anyway because you didn’t study. Hmm. That didn’t sound so good. Next power…
6. Invisibility
You just get out of an exam and see your friends discussing the answers. As soon as one of them sees you, they start asking, “How was your exam?” “Did you do that question?” “Whaaat, you answered it wrong,” etc. Wouldn’t it be great if you could just disappear or become invisible? In addition to that, when you’re invisible you’d be able to stalk your crush without worrying about being noticed. Actually, that sounds creepy. NEXT power…
7. Fast-drying tears
After all your efforts and hard work, you’re still going to fail; you won’t be able to satisfy your parents’, your friends’ and your own expectations. Therefore, the most beneficial super power of all is having fast-drying tears, so at least you don’t have to waste time wiping them away and can keep on doing your pre-lab assignment.