Shoggoths on Earth
BY ALPER ÖZKAN (MBG/IV)
d_ozkan@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
Lo and behold, I'm in a pinch again. I suppose it's a small wonder that it took this long, what with taking nine courses in a single semester and all (ironically, though, I only need a couple of them to graduate). Anyhow, while digging through topics sufficiently easy to write about, I came across this rather old piece of text - I think it was my Bilkent News application. The content was interesting, so I am using it verbatim as an interlude to the species list. I wonder how my style changed since then! (As far as I can discern, it didn't change at all.)
Those familiar with the works of horror fiction author H.P. Lovecraft would recognize the title - Shoggoths are amorphous, mindless servants engineered by Elder Things, an alien race of superior technological prowess that greatly pre-dated humanity. Massive, hulking creatures with no discernible shape and ability to form any appendage from their protoplasmic mass, shoggoths were tasked with construction and maintenance of their masters' empire before its eventual collapse. Of course, shoggoths are mere works of fiction (given they are blobs of jelly larger than a car, they would be rather hard to miss, had they existed), but Earth is home to a selection of equivalent critters, giants amongst the world of single-celled organisms. And I wish to speak of those creatures that baffle both laymen and experts alike.
If you are fond of camping, you may have noticed a lump of colorful, slimy matter on a patch of grass, growing inconspicuously in a wet, quiet corner. That odd lump is neither plant nor fungus - it is a slime mold, and it comes in two flavors. One, at the first glance, is not much different than an amoeba, in that it simply crawls around seeking food, until food runs out and the cells are ready to reproduce. Then the odd part begins; apparently not content with dividing in two like you'd expect them to, the individual cells start joining together. Eventually, some composite creature forms, and like a Greek phalanx (or combining giant robots, if you would prefer a Voltron or Power Rangers analogue), each once-individual cell starts behaving in union, closing the gap between single-celled and multi-cellular organisms in a span of hours. Only then will the congregate act, seeking light and eventually forming spores to be released.
The second kind of slime mold is yet more bizarre; for one, they're amongst the largest cells known (though, this also depends on what exactly you call a cell). And, by large, I do not mean large by mere cell standards; I mean larger than you and me. Of course in sheer mass they do not compare, but reportedly the largest patches span across 30 square meters; one can cover the floor of a teacher's office in Bilkent with one or two of those gigantic cells! (Note: actually doing this will be detrimental to your grades.) While their distant cousins act like amoebae before they gather, those giant cells are always fused together. Still they do act like amoebae, although now giant ones, slowly slithering their way to nutrients. What is astounding is that they are able to solve labyrinths in this quest for food, figuring out the shortest path to their prize (of a hearty meal, of course). They do this despite completely lacking a nervous system.
The last giant to take spotlight is an inhabitant of the deep ocean. Xenophyophores are common occupants of the abyssal plains, slowly probing their way through the mud and leaving slime behind like a single-celled slug. Up to 20 cm in diameter and adapted to life in the deep ocean, those creatures glue together minerals and fallen shells of other organisms using their own waste products (even abyssal protozoans can be eco-friendly), ending up with a makeshift shell to protect their bodies. This shell, termed a test, is utilized by many other organisms that live alongside their single-celled patron. So fragile are Xenophyophores that gathering them intact is an exercise in futility and physically ripping them to chunks is a trivial matter; protective shell or not, they're just single cells after all.
And now that we all know more than we'd want about giant, shapeless horrors, let us hope that the stars are not yet right! (Now that I look back on it, I should have mentioned magnetotactic multicellular prokaryotes. ...)