Re: Inviting You For Business



Dear Mr. Martins,

How fastidious of you to begin your letter with "sir/ma'am" rather than just calling me by my name. See, Mr. Martins, I get most of my e-mails via my assistant, and that "ma'am" gesture made the little thing really happy. So happy, in fact, that she wanted to thank you in a separate e-mail, but don't worry, I told Cinderella to hold her horses -- if she messages you, though, let me know so that I can fire her.

You know, I sometimes think that I'll die way earlier than her, or poor people in general, because those guys know how to enjoy the littlest things in life. I, on the other hand, was so devastated by the stock market news this morning that I swear to God there were tears coming out of my eyes. They say that money can't buy happiness; well, I'm not sure about those dim-witted communists, Mr. Martins, but it definitely does in my case. Enough with the personal details though, right? Let's get back to business.

Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Martins, but I had to google "BENIN REPUBLIC" -- all caps as you wrote it, because I'm a respectful man -- before writing this mail. Judging a country by its GDP per capita is what I often do because there are so many of them these days, like billions, that I don't know which ones to give a damn about and which ones not to. But man, you guys are living under some really bad conditions. And that's why, Mr. Martins, I would gladly help you with the transaction of $18.2M, an amount you rightfully called "a huge sum of money," for I know that the money you are proposing to share with me wouldn't lead to any improvement in BENIN REPUBLIC's economic conditions. But in the hands of someone like you or me, that money can live the rest of its life in peace and tranquility.

Can I call you Maila, Mr. Martins? I can? Great!

See, Maila, my friend, don't let my immediate jumping to a conclusion make you think that I'm not sorry for your loss. I'm not so stupid as to think the time I'm given on earth is infinite, and in fact I'm smart enough to realize that mourning over losses for longer than necessary -- and necessary should here refer to a few minutes -- is nothing but a loss itself. So, shall we move on to our next subject while bearing in mind that people come and people go?

One thing I noticed in your letter, Maila, is that you asked for an urgent reply but failed to specify a time interval. What I know from personal experience is that as one gets richer, his time gets scarcer, and vice versa. So I expect my nonchalance to correspond to your urgency. If not, I will have to let you know that I'm not the one to blame here, my dear friend, because what can I do when my webmail account is so arrogant as to label your mail SPAM and refrain from informing me?
Below I'm providing the information you've asked for. Feel free to add me on Facebook, which makes it a lot easier, believe me.

Now be a man and send me the money, Maila.




From Mr. Maila Mutu Martins,
Bill and Exchange Manager
Group Bank Of Africa.

I am contacting you in regards to a business transfer of a huge sum of money from my bank. I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make anyone apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. I decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.

I am a banker by profession in BENIN REPUBLIC, and currently holding the post of bill and exchange manager at the foreign remittance department of my Bank. I have the opportunity to meet unclaimed funds (USD18.2M) that belongs to one of our deceased customer who made a number of months deposit without an heir.

Hence; I am inviting you for a business deal and this money can be shared between us if you agree to my business proposal. Further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your urgent mail confirming your willingness.

Please indicate your willingness by sending your information for easy communication and more clarification. The details as follows should be send to Your full name, Your personal email address with direct telephone and fax numbers for easy confidentiality and easy communication.

I am waiting to hear from you if you are interested.

Mr. M M Martins