BY ANNA KORSUNSKA (COMD/III)
annak@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." ~ Maria Robinson
"The key to change … is to let go of fear." ~ Rosanne Cash
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." ~ Reinhold Niebuhr
As much a contradiction as it might seem, change is the only constant thing in the world. There are two kinds of change: ones we choose and the ones we don't. The fear that comes along with change is quite natural. The first type inspires fear of the new and different, the second fear of the unknown and fear of the loss of control.
At young adulthood is when we first feel the rush of power that comes with being in control, the power to change things in your life. And as you get older, you get more opportunity to realize that power - and more freedom.
And then you can go two ways: you can either start liking the power, or it can paralyze you with fear. Unfortunately, I was the latter. I did everything I could possibly do to avoid change, creating walls of stable things around me. And I hid there, until recently.
And if any of you have the same problem, I now address you. Don't make the same mistake.
First of all, it's silly to think that you can avoid change. So you might as well embrace it. Second of all, once you embrace it, you can start to work through your fear and learn to control it as much as you can.
Fear and change go hand in hand. You cannot embrace one without embracing the other. I know. Facing your fears is not an easy task, but it is necessary on the journey of self-improvement. You mustn't let fear hold you back. Face your fear. It's the first, best, and probably only way to let go of it.
I realize that ''change'' is a bit of a broad term, so I would like to specify that I am mostly talking about personal change. Self-improvement, if you will. It's the best way to control change ever, in my opinion. Because what else can you control in life, if not yourself? I'm a very firm believer in the constant self-improvement way of life: not perfectionism, but self-improvement. See the difference?
A person must always be evolving. That's my idea of the purpose of life. We were given consciousness and the opportunity to evolve, and we must use it to the fullest.
But make sure this is an inner change, not outer. You cannot run from yourself. So the most important part is working on your inner self. Use the outer as a helping factor, not the basis. Yes, at first it might seem superficial. You might need to push yourself, write little post-it notes on your mirror, wear a special ring or bracelet that will remind you to be different. But after a while you will get use to it. The people around you will get use to it. And once they accept it, they will expect it from you, so it will be easier.
Self-improvement change should be about releasing your inner self, becoming a better person, a better YOU, becoming the kind of person that you want to be.
Good luck!