Survival of the Wittest
BY CÜNEYT YILMAZ (ECON/IV)
cuneyt_y@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
The pun I've just made on Charles Darwin's famous phrase (which was originally coined by Herbert Spencer) would probably have made him chuckle had he been to grad school. And yet, that presumably witty title actually reveals a hidden fact about the academic world: in this crowd of geniuses, survival is only possible if you use your wits. What happens otherwise? Well, be prepared to find yourself stuck in the belly of this whale called academia.
Seriously, if there's anything I'm meant to understand from all those PhDComics strips, as well as the words of wisdom from my now-grad student friends, it's that academia is a loony bin. It's a place where slipping into madness is a matter of time, if not a fact of life. It is, therefore, very important to leave this campus as a full-fledged wannabe economist armed with the best weapons to survive that Armageddon. And, as a senior teetering on the edge of grad school, it's my responsibility to provide you with some useful advice on musts and shoulds for an econ undergraduate. Here you go:
1. Try not to hate History of Economic Thought.
The status update "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present" might have gotten you dozens of likes on Facebook. But it won't do the job during a History of Economic Thought exam in which John M. Keynes is demanding to be compared to Joseph Schumpeter. For whatever reason, History of Economic Thought tends to be one of the least-liked courses in the economics curriculum. When you come to think of it, however, a sound grasp of current economic theories is only possible through examining their past development. What about me, though? Do I like History of Economic Thought? Well, at least I'm still at the not-hating phase. Oh, who am I kidding…?
2. Don't minor in mathematics. Ever.
Of course, your typical venture into calculus, which consists solely of to-ing and fro-ing between integrals and derivatives, isn't sufficient. Or so you would think. Well, at least, that's what I thought before deciding to minor in mathematics. It may be fun sometimes - if by sometimes you mean a rare occurrence whose probability of happening is almost zero. Oh, speaking of probability:
3. Give a damn about statistics.
Do you make occasional use of the word "probably?" You do? Does the word "mean" correspond to something other than your sister in your imagination? It does? Good -- your familiarity with statistical jargon and your inclination to integrate it into your daily life might stem from the existence of a lost and forlorn statistician inside you. All you have to do is to make sure that you follow his lead - because, unlike you, academia does give a damn about statistics.
4. Go on Erasmus.
The right response to this suggestion would seem to be, "Sorry, I'm just too busy worrying about my academic career." I would say "Think twice." Still a no? Well, listen to me, you little nerd: This is the only time in your life you’re going to have the chance to get out of your comfort zone, with all its midterms and term papers. Once you realize that there are other places on earth where you can actually be happy, which is what I realized when I went on an Erasmus exchange, it's so much fun. But even if you don't enjoy it at all, you'll at least get to see how smart your German counterparts are. Vouching from my own experience, man, they are awesome!
5. Work for Bilkent News.
Let's face it: if you're an econ major, your English worsens as graduation approaches. Statistically speaking -- which by the way means that I satisfy requirement #3 -- there's a negative correlation between time and your command over the lingo. So, partake in some extracurricular activity that will keep your English fresh. I know, with the partying and all, it's way too hard for you to find the time, but could you please try to be at least a little bit more productive? Because, after all, you're worth your marginal product. (Sorry, I just can't stop the economist inside me.)