Beginner's Guide to Reading Body Language
BY DERYA SONER (MBG/IV)
a_soner@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
TV shows like Lie to Me and The Mentalist have popularized the idea of reading people's emotions from their body language. Some people have a natural talent for reading others and telling if they have good intentions, are honest, are self-confident, or are showing romantic interest. Others may be less adept and may need to look for certain tips in the person's body language. Here are a few tips that might be helpful in common cases for the latter group. These should not be taken too seriously as they may not always prove right for every person and every situation but can sometimes be helpful when assessing someone's intentions.
Dishonesty
If someone is looking left while trying to remember something, this usually means they are honestly trying to retrieve a memory and will be telling the truth. But if they are looking right, especially right and up, this may indicate that they are using their imagination to fabricate a story.
An innocent person often goes on the offensive when they are accused, while a guilty person may get defensive; they may place objects between you and themselves, cross their arms, and try to keep their lips closed as if not to say something they shouldn't say; they may even put their hand or finger over their mouth.
Watch out for "microexpressions" (yes, Lie to Me is based on real research). Someone's true feelings can briefly show on their face, such as a vague flash of anger. A faked expression is usually incomplete; it only involves a few facial parts while it should be obvious in the eyes, eyebrows, the lips, and the forehead as a whole. For example, a faked smile is only at the lips while a real one involves the cheeks and eyes as well. A faked emotion will usually develop in a delayed manner, stay longer than normal, and disappear suddenly, and the timing will not match the words - for example, the person will say they love a gift, and then smile, instead of smiling at the same time as the words.
If a person is deviating from the truth, or exaggerating, they may touch their face or neck with their hand. A person who is lying may also avoid making eye contact with you, or force themselves to make eye contact to fake honesty. If you suspect someone of hiding something, try changing the subject unexpectedly. A dishonest person will be relieved while an honest one will be surprised by the sudden change.
Romantic Interest
A person who shows sincere interest in someone will make direct eye contact, and their feet and hands will often be directed towards the person they are showing interest to. They may mirror some of the moves of the person they like, such as leaning forward when they do.
Detecting a female's interest may be easier compared to males. Playing with hair or fingers, and moistening the lips may indicate shyness that may be resulting from a feeling of romantic interest. If she is sitting with her legs crossed and she is slowly moving her free foot as if to a slow music, this may indicate flirting.
Business Interviews
Crossed arms, slouching, and looking down are definite no-nos in a business interview as they show lack of confidence and self-isolation. Your posture is very important; a person who is sitting upright and directly facing the interviewer and making eye contact shows reliability and confidence, and a firm handshake is also important in conveying the same message.
The best position for your legs to be is side by side; crossed legs will seem too informal, while legs that are apart will show dominance and arrogance. You should try and avoid fidgeting or touching your face, as these may convey discomfort or insincerity.
All this was a bit too summarized but I hope it helps, good luck!