Why I Write?
BY MELEK CANSU PETEK (ELIT/I)
Well, you can think of that as a rhetorical or maybe a stupid question. The answer looks pretty obvious, doesn't it? I write because I like writing. I write because I want to be a writer "when I grow up." As correct as these answers sound, they don't reflect the whole truth. Just as my fellow columnist Ceren Turan has said: "I write because there is no other way for me." I write to see the reflection of my personality on the paper.
The reason that led me to write for this newspaper was a bit different, though. I wanted to be a part of the BilNews family because it's my dream to share a bit of hope with whoever reads these columns. You, the very person who is reading this right now, are the reason for me to be on this page. What amazes me the most is that I've started to see my "reflection" in the readers, as well. A good friend of mine referred to my previous column "Up!" and said he would have hated to read something that optimistic if he hadn't known how well it reflects me. (Well, he also says he hates me because I look happy most of the time, but that's another story. )
Now, I don't want to give the impression that we live in a perfect world with a bright sun all the time. Let's be honest, that is so far from the truth. I'm fully aware of what's going on around us and how wrecked this world is. You turn on the news for five minutes and see wars breaking out and people dying. I could write about the Arab Spring, North Korea or how the great Turkish actor Metin Serezli just passed away, but I won't. Don't think that I'm burying my head in the sand like an ostrich, but you don't need to hear one more bit of sad news. You won't, at least not from me. We can cry together if it comes to that, we can share what we know and complain how little we understand, but in the end I want to say, "Don't worry, it'll be fine."
As the lady down this page said about her own writing two weeks ago, my writing, too, is more writer-centered than reader-centered. Not that I think my ideas are utterly important, but this is the only channel I can use to express myself freely. Nonetheless, ever since I started to write here, that is, ever since I started to get feedback from you, my perception has changed a bit. I still use my stories as that one-way channel, but I realized that a column works in a different manner. I write, and in return, I learn from you, the reader. The highlight of my last week was getting an e-mail from a reader. I was surprised at my own reaction -- by that I mean being full of joy, singing and writing an enthusiastic reply. What she said might have been a simple sentence to her, but it meant the world to me: "I was having a rather tough day, and your column made me smile." That was a wake-up call. Once again I saw that one heart matters. I've said it before, I'll keep saying it. You matter. Your ideas count. Your happiness makes a difference, and I'll do everything in my power to help you with that.
Speaking of happiness, I'll be honest with you. I spent a week in deep depression a couple of weeks ago. It was that pit of self-pity we all fall into every once in a while. I could have stayed there forever, but I forced myself out. It wasn't an "ah-ha!" moment that led me out of that pit -- I forced myself to climb out. Realizing that life didn't stop just because I stopped living was harsh. Knowing that I spent a whole week without doing anything that could help me was painful, but I learn something new every single time I get depressed. If you're like me, if you like to dwell on what happened in the past, let me share what I understood after that week: Learn from your past, forgive and forget. I have a terrible life story, I'd rather not bother you with that, but believe me, this is the only way to move on and be happy. I agree that it's easier said than done, but we all want to live happily ever after, right? So here I salute all fellow life-dwellers with a quote from "The Little Prince" -- don't worry, it's not the one you think. "It is a beautiful occupation. And since it is beautiful, it is truly useful." Cheers to making our lives beautiful!